I Don't Hate You
by ines.lopes.98
Summary: They've had a daily ritual for a while. Meet up, beat up, and head to class. But now it's different and Hayner doesn't know if he can handle that. Seiner and some side pairings.


Hey there! So once again I've done another story other than the Van/Ven one who's on hold for so long, but this one is awesome too, specially thanks to Eternal Grey who allowed me to continue her discontinued story "Please Don't Hate Me". She beta'd this too, and sorry if the story is a bit different from how it was when you read it before (if you read it of course) but I'm trying my best here, and I've already made a lot of plans with her for this story. So fear not!; this story is awesome since it's still got an Eternal Grey touch and finally has a continuation.

I really hope you like it, so read and review!

EnJoY!

I had gotten up from the ground, slowly. My face was completely blank, I was already used to the way he treated me. It wasn't really my fault, Seifer was pissed beyond Hell and I came out just at the right moment. It happens often, too. It's become sort of like a routine, if he's pissed and out for blood, I'd show up and he'd destroy me. The other way around works just as well. I like to think I give as much as I get, but seeing as how I always come out with many more injuries than Seifer does, my resolve tends to waver. It was a little more even when we were kids, we were the same size then, but now that he's bigger and stronger, I don't think I got the chance to hit him _at all_last fight. It's getting to a point where I can't walk straight anymore. I know I shouldn't keep doing this but I don't have the strength...

I started up the hill to go to school, face down and shoulders slumped. I was feeling a bit dizzy, but I could manage. Even when my leg gave out under me and I hit the ground hard. I could still manage. My stomach had a sharp pain to it, I could tell that he kicked me pretty hard this time, maybe even broke a rib or two. But it doesn't really matter.

The hatred he had for me was apparent, it always was. He hated my very presence, scowled every time I came into view, spat venom filled insults to piss me off; it turned into a never ending cycle of brutality that I couldn't seem to walk away from. Even with Roxas' disapproval there was no way I'd be able to walk away from a fight. And I couldn't bring myself to change that; it was everything I had, after all.

I smiled because even with my bloody nose and aching ribs, I'm fine. Roxas, being the worrywart of a best friend that he is, keeps trying to help, and Sora too, it's what you'd expect from twins, but they don't get it. Pence is oblivious and a pacifist, so stays away from fights. Naminé worries and tries to talk, but she's too shy and scared, she won't stick into my business if I make it clear I don't want her to, in a subtle way. Olette knows it, actually. She was smart enough to draw the dots and come to a conclusion herself, and as I do with many others who show worry or pity, I turn her down every time she touches the topic that is Seifer. They don't get that I just want to be left alone. I scowled. Seifer _gets it_. And that makes the clenching in my chest that much worse.

I managed to make it to school in time, and Roxas was instantly there looking concerned and guilty. We were supposed to walk together to school, but he had _someone_ pick him up at the last minute, so I came alone. I've come to school alone since school started. Once or twice did he come with me, the other rare times were Pence and Olette who came, but they got together recently, so it's never probable for them to be around, which means that they're usually occupied and unwilling to hang.

Before Roxas could get to me, however, Seifer came from behind and bumped shoulders harshly with me, throwing a venom filled "I hate you" over his shoulder as he went to talk to his Douchebagery Committee friends. When we fight, I always find myself amazed at the way his icy blue eyes come ablaze, even his scar adds to the effect by making him look stronger, more alive than his usual scowling face shows. It's as if fighting ignites a fuse somewhere where he begins to live instead of just scowl and scare whoever comes around.

Maybe those eyes could come ablaze for a different reason, I don't know.

I threw an "I hate you more!" back at him just for the heck of it. The more he hated me, the more he'd seek me out when he was pissed. That also meant that I could actually help him vent some stress. I was content with that. With seeing the blaze in his eyes.

Then Roxas was there, standing next to me, looking at me with furrowed eyebrows and his arms crossed, but there was a slight softness to his eyes. I just shrugged off his concern. "Go off to class. I'm fine." He did as I said, but kept pace with me.

It never takes long to get to the classroom; the classroom where Seifer sits a couple of rows down from mine, in the back. Naminé was worried, as one can imagine, but didn't say anything, and I didn't either. I was basically only looking back at the bully behind me discreetly. This is when Olette came over and sat on the seat next to me. She had her usual sweet smile on her face, which let me know what she wanted.

"Hey Olette." I said, just to be kind, but I turned to the front so I could pretend to listen to the teacher. She always comes to check on me in the mornings. She says it's a good idea to talk about my… Problem, as you will. I don't agree with her, obviously.

"How are you doing, Hayner?" Some students were now glancing at us. This also happens frequently, so I tend to draw attention, be it good or bad.

"The same as usual. Why do you ask?" This is a charade we play. She talks and says what she wants, and then I go away, because that's how I've found myself acting. Sometimes I look back at her, or them, when Pence and Roxas are around too, and see shards of hurt and disappointment piercing through their gaze. It's frustrating to have to turn them down like that, but I just can't take the pressure they put me under. It's crushing me.

"You seem a bit… hurt?" She's been raising her voice to draw attention. She does this from time to time. I saw Naminé looking our way with her puppy look, as if pleading for me to talk to Olette. I didn't like the way I heard some shuffling behind me, it could've been Seifer for all I know. I turned my head to my work, and tried to actually learn something instead of letting by brunette friend take all of my attention. I tried to hint that the subject was something not to touch when I lowered my head, but she doesn't give a damn about hints. She crushes them and keeps on asking away.

"Yeah, I got into a fight. Can we please drop the subject?" I replied, annoyed that even now she'll persist. Doesn't she care about school? She didn't like the way I answered, she looked every bit of irritated herself, but I think she needs to know how to stick her nose on her own business and let mine alone.

"No! Hayner, I'm worried about you!" she hissed. Finally decided to keep her voice down, but it was too late. The teacher, that was attempting to instruct us on the proper transition from one paragraph to the next, now came to our desks, scowling, hands on his hips, and moved me away. I wanted to smile at Olette's annoyed face, but refrained when I saw that the teacher was placing me next to Seifer, who had a smug smirk on his face as if he just won. Maybe he thought he could have a little fun out of the whole situation.

Seifer was writing on his notebook as he had been doing for the whole class. It caught my curiosity. He saw me looking at his notebook, and glared, the scar squinching when he did so. I glowered in response and muttered an "I _was_ happy." to no one in particular but at the same time to that _damned_ teacher. Seifer really could get to my head without much effort.

I laid my head in my arms, on my desk. I wonder how good of an actor I am. Seifer has been in the school theatre club since school started. Maybe he can see through my masks. Maybe he can't. The only time I ever acted was in a school play, where I was a tree and Seifer the main character. We fought, that day. Of course we did.

My stomach was hurting a lot, and I winced quietly to myself. The teacher caught it though. He asked if I wanted to go to the infirmary. I looked at him as if he were crazy and asked why. He just ignored me for the rest of classes.

I decided that watching the clock tick by was a good idea.

I wanted a way to get away from all the pain this was giving me. It would be awesome to get rid of all of these problems and pains, to be able to relax, be with friends, be with the one you love. But those wouldn't really happen, no. A way out could be hanging, cutting my wrists, drowning, taking pills; in other words, suicide.

But I won't do it. I want to first see everything finish crumbling apart, and then I'll try one of those. Or maybe I'll already be dead before it even finishes crumbling. I really don't know.

My eyes glaze over and darken in a creepy way. I give a smile that looks sad but happy at the same time. I look down and walk out of class to go to P.E. when the bell rings. I have private lessons with Sora about sword fighting because I'm never in a good enough condition to do normal P.E. It's a given, I don't really know how they managed this. It seems like special treatment, but then again, Sora tends to get whatever he wants. Today we just stretched. He could sense my pain, I'm sure. He had this soft expression that seemed almost like pity, if I didn't know better. He was just worried; he always is, no matter the person. He even got worried about Seifer once, when he walked out of a dark alley while I and my gang were going to the Usual Spot, all bloody and bruised, and with a sprained ankle, I'm sure. He held himself as if nothing was wrong and went on his way without giving us a second glace; I saw him favoring his right leg, though. Sora couldn't stop blubbering about it, but in the end, he didn't go after Seifer. I didn't either, which is kind of ironic considering…

I've fallen in love with Seifer Fucking Almasy.


End file.
